as a "writer", i am fairly obsessed with words/sexual positions. As some of you know, my signature act to discuss is the “blumpkin”. I first heard of it in college when an acquaintance who worked for sony music was recounting a night she had spent with spin doctors wannabe, dave matthews. At the time, she used it as a verb (“i blump, you blump, he/she blumps”) and the idea doing that to another human being truly disgusted me for it is not for the faint of heart. But the name stayed with me for some reason and I have subsequently and successfully used it as an ice breaker on several occasions (discussion of, not the actual act!).
recently, i was made aware of another rather saucy maneuver that trumps my beloved “blumpkin” both in name and the feat it describes. I’m talking about the “french motorboat". let's just say it involves a saucer of milk, a drinking straw and a scrotum.
Since i am doing absolutely nothing at work at the moment, I have decided to compile a list of some of my favorite urban legend moves (for definitions, please see urbandictionary.com). I can’t put that type of smut on my blog, thank you very much!
p.s. if you have any others you think I should know about please don’t hesitate to share your knowledge!
Here’s my list of faves:
Tony Danza
Danny Glover
Hot Carl
Pennsylvania Pinecone
Rusty Trombone
Cincinnati Fuckhouse